are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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