I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize