its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize