After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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