I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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