Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize