A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize