idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize