So drunk its hurt
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize