yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize