Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize