I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
All I want is dick and wine.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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