Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
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