There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize