is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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