So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think people are normalizing furries
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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