I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize