would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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