Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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