So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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