If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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