Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize