I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize