I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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