How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize