I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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