Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize