what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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