i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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