Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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