One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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