I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
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Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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