it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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