Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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