did you get engaged???
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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