If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize