There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I need to align my fucking chakras
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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