dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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