The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Pooping to opera.
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