after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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