No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize