i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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