She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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