when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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