eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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