I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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