You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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