between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
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Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
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alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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