i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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