turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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